It's been another weird week in retail. Hefty's new product channels the trashiest personalities, Asos and Off-White go head-to-head for the most useless product, and Kit Kat's get a pricey makeover.

This, and more, in this week's retail therapy.

Talking trash

Reynolds-owned trash bag brand Hefty announced this week it's selling a limited-edition product seemingly geared at millennials. The trash bags feature phrases like "Feed me tacos & tell me I'm pretty," "Feeling like garbage today" and "Burnt dinners & takeout containers," which are perfect for any 20-something-year-old still trying to figure out life (and how to take out the trash).

"The Hefty brand enjoys bringing both strength and humor to our consumers, so we wanted to create a product that showed off our personality and gave consumers something to smile about while taking out the trash," Jen Varela, senior brand manager at Reynolds Consumer Products, said in a statement.

The 20-count, 13-gallon limited-edition bags retail for $5.49, which the company says is the same price as a regular box, and can be purchased at www.HeftyCostsLessThanGlad.com. (Subtle.)

We've already seen toilet paper geared toward those who don't want to change the roll frequently. What's next? Avocado toast-inspired sponges to do the dishes? A participation trophy for retrieving the mail?

Asos makes avoiding social interaction easier

Absurdity is what Asos seems to do best. The fast-fashion retailer has truly blessed the world with some gems over the years, including a skort-jeans combo, see-through pants and a pleather outfit that only Britney Spears could pull off.

But we think it finally outdid itself this time. Asos is selling a faux headphone earpiece (aka a fake, and totally useless, Airpod). For a mere $9.50, the fast-fashion retailer is making it easier than ever to avoid interacting with people in your office elevator.

However, this product is non-returnable, so if consumers are considering whether they want to look absolutely ridiculous wearing this, they better be all-in.

Next level from ASOS: fake non functional airpods pic.twitter.com/LndCdjlKZa

— Driscoll (@Drlscollg) September 20, 2019

No. False. I disagree. https://t.co/Gp7gRsCNPW

— ALL GEESE ARE BASTARDS (@Ben_Scerri) September 26, 2019

And it seems uselessness is the trend of the season because Virgil Abloh's Off-White label also unveiled an eyebrow-raising handbag at its Spring 2020 show this week, as pointed out by Vogue. The bag, dubbed "The Meteor," features crater-sized holes punched through the leather making it virtually impossible to hold anything without it immediately falling out (though a representative told Vogue that an internal pouch will be included to secure items).

Just when you thought Simon Porte @Jacquemus had designed fashion's most outrageous It bag, @VirgilAbloh slides in with a surprising counter. https://t.co/m2IDTKz3Tc

— Vogue Magazine (@voguemagazine) September 26, 2019

Though we're not sure we can even call this as a "bag" because it lacks most of the qualities of one, it will become available at select retailers this Sunday.

Kit Kat gets the luxe treatment

The treat many will be expecting in their Halloween candy loot next month will be getting a "luxury" makeover soon. Kit Kat's parent company, Nestlé, unveiled a new concept, the Kit Kat Chocolatory. 

Consumers will have the chance to "Create Your Break," which will allow them to customize their "eight-finger" bars and personalize the packaging. The experience offers consumers nearly 1,500 flavor combinations with four chocolate flavors: milk, dark, white and ruby, and several ingredients, including honeycomb, rose petals and nuts. The bars do, however, come with a luxury price tag. A single bar costs 14 pounds (about $17).

But if you're in the United States, you won't be seeing these on shelves any time soon. The Kit Kat Chocolatory will be in 30 John Lewis & Partners shops across the UK and at York's Chocolate Story, as well as on Nestle's new online shop "before the end of the year," the company said.

I guess the traditional Kit Kat will have to do for now, but lucky for Americans, a whole bag of them only costs a couple of bucks this time of year.

Target found the purrfect way to ring in the spooky season

The mass merchant seemingly wants to cater to everyone this Halloween season — even our furry friends. Target is selling a cardboard Haunted House scratch post for cats for a mere $16.99 (a steal!) because for an animal that literally just wants to be left alone, this seems like a great idea.

But as ridiculous as the product is, Target knew select consumers would love the product (and, as a result, force their pets to love it, too). First, Amazon rolled out its Halloween costumes for pets and now this. Can we all agree that animals just don't possess the same holiday spirit that their owners do?

Happy spoopy season, y'all.

So like I already bought purrl this cute pop up tunnel for halloween,,,,, but like target has a full on mini haunted house cat scratcher and like ????????????

— Rosana (@cryptid_bitch_) September 25, 2019

My journey to "crazy cat lady" is complete. https://t.co/cKsK4eNQFZ

— Christopher Rondina (@Ghostboy67) September 26, 2019